posted on Sunday, January 31, 2010
i feel like being emo today. maybe i just want more sleep. maybe i just want to see my friends again. maybe it's just me.
get used to it.
posted on
do you honestly still believe me when i tell you the same thing every time? because i don't believe you. i don't know who i miss more; you (but i can't miss somebody i don't know, right?) or who you used to be who we used to be, rather. did i not try hard enough or something? what did i forget? and don't lie and tell me i forgot your birthday because i've remembered it for all four years. i don't know what i expected but it wasn't this. in my mind, i never really thought we'd be so distant then again, i didn't quite know that you were that kinda person. i have to let go of you. it doesn't really seem hard right now, does it? especially since there's nothing left behind.
posted on
Elizabeth Estelle says: why does everyone think i'm quiet?
Beatrice says: lol
Elizabeth Estelle says: i'll show them on monday. HUH hahaha
Beatrice says: well cause you are not the type to scream for no reason and do stupid stuff
Elizabeth Estelle says: i'm not?
posted on Saturday, January 30, 2010
i am now an acjc student. but i still love ij.
hmm. orientation's started. the first day was kinda boring cause it was mostly talks and and stuff. the second day was better. the introductory lectures made me feel really insecure about my choice of subjects now. but i have till... thursday. and i am more confused than ever!
but my ogl is quite fun. and we have found the least welcoming place in ac - the library. hahaha.
posted on Tuesday, January 26, 2010
my sister and i went back to ij for thanksgiving mass today. after mass mr teh treated us to pizza. then ice cream. he gave us the money and let us do what we wanted. we ordered the pizza, went to united sq to eat ice cream. maxine, hani, hill and me went to toys r us after that and took all sorts of retarded pictures which i'm not so sure i'm looking forward to seeing on facebook now...
but, the entire day was wonderful. and it made me realise it's the last time i got to go to ij as an ij girl. because tmr is, well, it's tmr. and after that there'll be no more time to go back to ij, less time to meet up with friends. there'll be new things, new places, people and subjects. and there'll be this part of me that's always going to look back and swear ij's still the best.
less than 12 hours to savour this feeling of being and ij girl and ij alone. i'll always be an ij girl but after tmr, it'll be different.
posted on Sunday, January 24, 2010
i can't get quinn's papa don't preach out of my head. and i love the little mermaid. they shouldn't do sequels to the disney movies cause they always suck. the first is always the best. and the animation gets worse too. i remember that as a kid i wanted to change my name to ariel cause i loved the little mermaid so much. and when i decided i liked my name, i made up my mind to name my daughter ariel. and i'm not suprised that after watching it again, i'm thinking about really naming my daughter ariel. i love flounder! if i have a fish, i shall name it that. i don't care if it has an identity crisis because of that. i have been thinking up names for pets that i might have. if it's a dog, i'll either name it dr watson or tibby, depending on it's gender. but if there are 2 i'm not naming them that. i'll have to think of more suitable names that come in pairs. don't gimme that look. i'm 16, not 6. i won't keep changing and forgetting my pet's name like i did with the hamsters.
omg, i'm going to be 17 this year. it's not a nice number. but other than that, this year is going to be exciting. i hope. yesyesyes? please, let it be a good year. i'm actually looking forward to chinese new year now. but mostly only because i get to eat bah kwa (sp?!) and wear my new dress. ahaa. and my hair will be longer by then and probably look less overgrown. please, let it be a good year.
disney mania!
posted on Saturday, January 23, 2010
i love glee and disney movies. and anastasia, the animated one, and the swan princess, yes of course i'm talking about the animated ones! yay. life is good. i'm starting jc in less than a week and i'm watching disney and animated movies instead of clearing out my o level stuff. so much for "a brand new start" eh? i'm gushing over a puppy. somebody, save me.
posted on Wednesday, January 20, 2010
i met up with my learning lab classmates today to visit ms ong! they took to my hair well, unlike some people... but anyway, we is actually cheryl, ja, steffi, ht and carina. liling and cherrie couldn't make it. we talked for quite a while with ms ong and after that we went to starbucks and erm, cheryl and carina ordered drinks and we sat outside and talked. left at about 5? i don't know. i had to take a bus back. and now i don't think i'll ever walk that way again. freaky route. and oh! the other day when i went out with arielene, my mom dropped me off at a bus stop and told me to find a bus to town(it's not actually that bad, i'm just not being choosy about words). this old lady approached me and claimed that she didn't have coins, only a ten dollar note. so i gave her coins. she even showed me the ten dollar note and her empty pocket. and yesterday when i came back from watching avatar, i saw the same old lady at the bus stop outside my estate asking someone else for coins, with a ten dollar note in her hand. coincidence much? that despicable old hag. preying on other people's charity and kindness. it's disgusting. if i see her one more time i will be sure to glare at her, hard and bold. till i frighten her bankrupt pants off her.
posted on Tuesday, January 19, 2010
i finally went to watch avatar. okay, it was cool. but the vatican was right. but my sister turned to me when we weren't even halfway through the movie and said "i'm bored". hahaha. i was still a bit freaked out by the animals. and the 3d glasses were kinda big so they kept slipping. and i had to keep resisting the urge to swat the flies cause they looked real under the glasses. and i pray they cleaned them properly cause that was bugging me throughout the entire movie.
i still want to watch the blind side, new york i love you, alice in wonderland, dear john, valentine's day and... i know there's one more, i just can't put my finger on it.
i went to ikea yesterday. i should have done my gift shopping there. but then everyone would get cups and glasses or salt and pepper shakers. haha. nevermind, they could put sweets in there.
posted on Monday, January 18, 2010
very emotional right now. i don't want to leave ij. i don't want to leave my friends.
posted on Wednesday, January 13, 2010
okay, i am very glad that i did not screw up my o levels. 7's good right? eh, i shouldn't complain. i should be grateful. but still, a miss is as good as a mile. even though, yes, i would have wanted the 1 for physics instead of 2 so that i could get 6 and be more assured of myself but i should just be glad right? but why does it leave me feeling so empty still? contentment needs to be cultivated. it also means no more relaxing. and that is the LAST time that i study for an exam on the say itself and breakdown. haha. even though i still managed to get an a1 for it. plus, the subject was none other than chem! omg, right?? i suck at chem. i got e8 at the end of sec 3 and couldn't even do well enough for the combined paper. and they actually wanted me to drop to combined. haha. never doubt myself again. yes, yes. prayer does help. Praise the Lord, indeed. i can't help but think that everyday.
went for ac's open house today. i'm pretty much set on going there since mrs alex advice. plus beatrice thinks i'll fit in. judith is already there and plenty of people i know are trying for it so i shouldn't have to worry about being completely stranded. oh! today beatrice and judith formulated our plan. haha. when we're done after school, ac people have to call steph who's in acs IB and beatrice in sp. so we can all get on 74 and visit the sp people in their canteen. :DD yay, i can't wait to do that. haha. then we get to keep in touch. as to those in far away schools, like sam in nanyang poly, i will send her post-its through snail mail. then we will post them up on facebook. haha.
posted on Sunday, January 10, 2010
oh, my last post was my 369th post. cute number.
i feel like i have multiple personalities within me. they don't always fight. but occasionally when something gets out of hand, well, a sort of scene in my head plays out.
like a kid lying on the bed; screaming, kicking and bawling that she doesn't want things to change and she doesn't want to move on. and someone comes to her and holds her, telling her it's gonna be okay, trying to shush her and stroking her head and whispering kind things. then a third person comes in and shoots her with a tranquilizer shot and sighs while the second person just looks on with dismay in her eyes as the kid lies curled up and tear-striken.
in other words, i'm either difficult, tolerant or pretty harsh. that doesn't add up or make sense, but it's the best i can do. i need to finish warm fuzzies now!
posted on
happy birthday.
it probably doesn't really mean anything now but i still want to say it. i can't tell you how much i miss you. every day every morning & every night.
i keep thinking, i wish you were here. and then i realise, you are. just in a different way now. so i reject the idea of acceptance, in hope of gaining a new reality.
Trying to be perfect Trying not to let you down Honesty is honestly The hardest thing for me right now While the floors underneath our feet Are crumbling, the walls we built together tumbling I still stand here holding up the roof Cause it's easier than telling the truth
I still keep your photographs I remember how we used to laugh I can keep on losing sleep If you're okay with being torn in half
Stop ignoring that our hearts are mourning And let the rain come in Stop pretending that it's not ending And let the end begin, oh yeah...
the truth, kris allen
posted on Friday, January 08, 2010
Unspoken, in silence Let's stay here tonight There's no reason to ask me Cause you know what's inside Don't worry now Seasons will change
Forgive my mouth For not letting you walk away Take your love, bring it back Bring it back Think before you leave I forgot what love is Bring it back Tell me that you believe What fate has been telling me
At sundown on the freeway Is no place for goodbyes Don't worry now Seasons will change Forgive my mouth For not letting you walk away Take your love, bring it back Bring it back Think before you leave I forgot what love is Bring it back Tell me that you believe What fate has been telling me
I've got a different ending to our story I know it's hard for you to hear it through But listen as I read
Take your love, bring it back Bring it back Think before you leave I forgot what love is Bring it back Tell me that you believe What fate has been telling me
bring it back, kris allen
posted on
ahh. i watched did you hear about the morgans instead of avatar because it was sold out again! this is so frustrating. i watched it with arieleenee who is back from egypt. we went shopping at ion before that. anyway, it was an alright movie. could have been better. they should have chose younger people. sarah jessica parker looks too old to have a kid. we were late for the movie thanks to the super slow lifts.haha. but we weren't the last. the guy next to me was just so annoying. he kept laughing so loudly and bouncing about in his seat. so i still haven't watched princess and the frog and avatar. i want to watch new york i love you! i'm getting the feeling i've been watching a lot of movies this holiday. there was the phoenix one. which was in thai, new moon (kill me), sherlock holmes, changeling, the young victoria, did you hear about the morgans, sisterhood of the travelling pants (again), 500 days of summer, a walk to remember(again), and i'm going to watch my sister's keeper at sicc tonight.
i have trouble spelling. god, i need to get back to school. but i only want ij):
posted on Wednesday, January 06, 2010
i watched sherlock holmes. with my cousins, sister and aunt. and i still don't get why gv at j8 only lets us in 5 minutes before. it was practically the last movie of the day. i actually think it was a good movie. i liked it. but then again, my expectations of movies aren't very high. it was entertaining. yes, that's all it needs to be. my sister called it a literary travesty. it didn't follow the books on a lot of details. how come i don't remember them having a dog? i must go and read them again.
posted on Friday, January 01, 2010
it's the new year. no hurrah. i wonder why everyone is so excited?
i spent the new year playing taboo with my cousins. it was hilarious. word: little india alex: it's the place where all the banglas go! all 3 of his brothers: little india! amazing right? haha. they think along the same wavelength word: seal me: omg! it's my favourite artic animal! it's furry! my sister: seal! and everyone stared at us like, wth? psychic connection.
we were all cursing and swearing so much everytime some strange word came up. then i got the word 'cramps! and i started saying, "oh! girls get this every - " then i realised the rest of my group was made up of all guys. gah. totally ruined my strategy.
today we went for "tea" at a hotel. omg, i've never eaten so much in my life. i don't think it was because the food was good but more because i didn't eat lunch and had to spend the late morning and early afternoon scrubbing the damn window grill till i nearly threw up and collapsed when i went to the wash room. but alex can sure eat! i hope he's feeling better now. dominic made a really sad pohpiah with peanut sprinkled over the top because he forgot to put it inside, alex's rojak had a hell lot of sauce and my sister kept the shell on which the scallops came. and when a waiter tried to take it away, she exclaimed such that i thought she'd been attacked. we kept trying to guess the songs they were playing.
i just watched the young victoria at sicc. there was a technical glitch which really pissed everyone off. the movie started but all we could here was the audio. it went one for really long. and it took even longer for someone to come in and do something despite many attempts to get something done by various people. it was quite a good movie i guess. but the ending was rather abrupt. when the caption said that she went on to have nine children, almost everyone went, woah. there was a certain amount of humour which i liked. i guess it was quite enjoyable to watch. it made me happy. and was worth it, considering i missed michael jackson's history tour in copenhagen for it. (:
and tmr will be the third day in a row that i'm seeing my cousins. i don't think i've ever seen them so often for a long time. not counting the family vacations. and it has also just occured to me that i never speak about my father's side of the family. not that it really bothers me, anyway.
some new year. i only have one resolution so far, and that's to stick to the resolutions i make. bless you.
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