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Where Did You Come From LadyElizabeth Tan♥ |
posted on Wednesday, November 29, 2006oof. haven't posted in quite a long time...XD too lazy. and busy! trying to finish my math homework like crazy. haha. yes! tomorrow can go out! haha. clara came for training yesterday, she learnt footdrill! haha. hope she remembers. wahh. i'm now in modern dance. after painstakingly learning the steps for trad dance now i have to learn another set of steps. grrr. so annoying! yesterday's training was so super slack! just sat there and talked and talked and talked! haha. ma'am angleine started asking us which hospital we were born in! lol. and she somehow came up with the theory that those born in gleneagles are smart. -.-''' haha. then talked until like...4. arranged to go to pasir ris park tomorrow! yeah! haha. i shall bring my camera! haii. so many depressing things to write about. but i shall save it for the next post! lol.so long! don't worry yee wern, i'm not thinking funny stuff. i'm okay now. and i don't want to go for surgery! lol. WITH NO HOSIPTALS, CLINICS OR CHEAP DRUGS, EVERY 8 SECONDS, A CHILD UNDER THE AGE OF 5 DIES FROM ACUTE RESPIRATORY DISEASES LIKE PNUEMONIA MAKE POVERTY HISTORY! posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006i forgot to mention. it's been a year and two days since i first blogged. ((: yups. 20 november 2005. hmm, it was just a few days before my psle results came out. tomorrow is the day for all those p6s of 2006. all the best! i still remember getting my results. i was so super blur. i was like: where's the mark?! then arielle was like: oh my gosh! and pointed to it. i was so happy i passed! okay, i know i'm expected to do much better than pass but i was really ecstatic! i thought i was going to do badly. thought, it wasn't that good, i should have known better; don't day-dream so much! haha. the whole hall was crazy. and on that day i didn't cut my nails! so they were super long! and i was so afraid the teachers would scold! haha. then when i went home, my cousin called and said something like: lisa? dominic wants to know how much you got for your psle. so i was like: erm, 246? and he was like: oh ok. weird right? sometimes i wish i did better. sometimes i feel content. i don't know which one to feel.posted onOMGOSH! so many things on one day! so cool! it's definetely not a coincidence!at the end of this year, ms ratulangi & ms kuan are getting married on the same day! furthermore, it's my sister's confirmation, jia an's birthday, my cousin's birthday, and to top it off, there's a band concert. to ms ratulangi[my sec 1 lit teacher] and ms kuan[my OM teacher] : all the best! to my sister: have a great time! to jia an: eh. hope you grow taller! to my cousin: you had better study hard next year & lose some weight! to everyone else who has something important on that day: enjoy yourself! posted on Saturday, November 18, 2006Sigh. Again. Do you ever wake up, not literally, but just realise that if you may just stop breathing if you never see the people you love again? What would you do if the people you really miss were already gone? and all you really want, what you want more than anything in the world is to be with those people again, to be able to tell them all the things you wanted to say, to do things you never got around to doing, just erase all that guilt and regret. Then you just hit rock bottom. You realise you can't do anything and you feel like dying. Your eyes get all watery again. You don't know why you've been crying so hard or why you can't get over it. You just know you hate yourself for wasting all that time you had to make things right, for being such a weakling, for being so hopeless. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't keep up like this. I just can't move on. I have to admit I did move on a bit since she left. Everything just reminds me of her. I never realised was so close to her, or was she close to me? Right now, every song I listen to tells me of regret, they let someone they loved slip by. That’s what I did. I can't help feeling so guilty. Although I’m in a much better state then when she first died. I couldn't do much but cry. I went to sleep crying, woke up crying, and got out of bed crying. Just thinking of it was so bad. I cried so much that on the 5th day, I couldn't cry anymore. My heart felt like it was tearing itself apart and I wanted to scream so badly. No matter how painful it was, I couldn't cry. My body just stopped me from crying because I was losing too much water. I didn't know how to deal with the emotional loss. Everyone must have thought I was suicidal. I must thank them a great deal for their care. Especially Jaime and lala. They really helped me pull through. I don't know if it's normal to be crying almost everyday. I hope it is. They say the grieving period shouldn't last more than a year.
i found it so hard to pray. so hard to give thanks. i didnt know how to thank GOD when i was hurt so bad. then, somehow, slowly, i started to pray again. i'm not sure how i'm supposed to live my life. i just get more an more frustrated everytime i think about it. i'm so sorry to bore the people, like jia an, who read my blog. i just really needed somewhere to write this. and knowing that not many people actually read my posts is more of a comfort. i sincerely hope that whoever out there is hoping and praying badly for something will come to realised that whatever happens is for their own good sometimes. it will hurt, but it hurts GOD more to see them in pain.
& i pray to GOD he hears you -the fray;how to save a life
posted onoof. where do i start! trainings have been, well, erm, relatively fun? haha. especially the last one on thursday. it was just hilarious! eeks. have so much to do. LL wants us to do some presentation thingy or something...about the IR. damnit. i'm not even supportive of the IR. why should i do a presentation on it? hmp! i know this is mean but...do you really think the idea of a casino is good? i mean, look at the number of lives it's destroyed, money aside, the chances of you ever winning are...0.01%. especially catholics, you know you're not supposed to believe in luck. and by gambling you're actually, in a way, testing GOD. what does it take for you to realise? sigh.today i went to church and then SHOPPING! yeah. at isetan. bleh. the christmas decorations are just really wayyyy tooo over the top. furthermore, it's a darn waste of fossil fuels! for goodness sake people, is it too much for your pathetically tiny brain to realise that we are depleting these foosil fuels faster than our earth can ever replace them? how stupid. plain stupid. okay, i know i'm being real cynical about everything now but i really wish that humans would stop being so materialistic and driven sheerly by power and money. it makes me sick to the stomach. please, to any government people, if you find this offensive i am terribly sorry you have to deal with me and my mood swings. posted on Monday, November 13, 2006yay. ppj asked me to do this:1. think of 15 short bits of interesting stuff about yourself. and they've gotta be true 2 come up with 5 false statements regarding yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability 3 jumble them all up together and list them in any order. 4 let people guess which are the five false ones! 5 get 5 others to do this 1) i am hungry 2) i am not hungry. i just feel like eating for no reason. 3) i am doing my math homework. 4) i do not know what else to say 5) i have lost count of how many false statements i've written 6) i like to say haha and lol 7) i hate tomatoes 8) i took ballet 9) i like to flood daffy's tagboard 10) i ate a cury puff today 11) i want to sleep 12) i am born on the 4th of may 13) < 14) i am lazy 15) i am tired 16) i like green and pink! 17) daffy calls me sharky... 18) i am in red cross[quite obvious wouldn't you say?] 19) i am starting to get sick of perhaps love from princess hours because i have been listening to it on ppj's blog. 20) i have reached the end these people have to do it: 1) jaime! 2) mars 3) xin hui 4) francesca 5) anusha! i will reveal the results in 2 weeks time ((: posted on Sunday, November 12, 2006i've had a lot of time to think. and i don't know why i didn't think about this earlier. i miss everything. my friends from primary school, free time, being ignorant, i think i'm even starting to miss school. all my friends are there. now, i'm so busy i don't really know if i'm happy. i don't know what i want, what to do. everything's drifting apart and it's like i'm struggling to grab it back. i've lost so much and i realised it too late. i just realised i lost so many friends because we haven't talked for so long. and i'm regretting it more than ever. everyone's so changed. not the people i knew, the ones i could trust or talk to when i was feeling down. it feels like there's this huge gap in between us. if the person i'm refefring to is reading this post, please don't feel offended. it's my fault. really. i should have kept in touch like i said i would. i should have. just now you were online and i didn't bother to talk to you. maybe i was scared. because i haven't talked to you in so long that you might have changed and i just didn't want to disturb you. what if you found me a bother? i can't let it go. i miss everything that we shared. the laughter, the fun, the tears, the memories. all those times we got scolded by a teacher, whch wasn't really a lot, but all the pair work and group work that we did together. i can't believe that what we once thought to be a strong friendship has just sunk. right in front of me. and i didn't do anything about it. i feel like an idiot for doing that. i hate myself for it. i really want to make up for it but sometimes, you just won't talk. i tried, and gave up. maybe too soon, i didn't really give it a chance did i? oh, i'm so sorry. and this post is just for all those people who i may not talk to ever again. because i'm too stupid.Step one you say we need to talk He walks you say sit down it’s just a talk He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame And you begin to wonder why you came Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Let him know that you know best Cause after all you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you’ve told him all along And pray to God he hears you Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you’ve followed He will do one of two things He will admit to everything Or he’ll say he’s just not the same And you’ll begin to wonder why you came Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life posted on Friday, November 10, 2006what a week! ahhh! so exhausted. i've had rede cross activities from tuesday to friday.on tuesday we had training! footdrill for 4 hrs! could have died! then lunch break before lessons and all. wednesday was the visit to the old folk's home. francesca and me cleaned the windows before going to interact with the old folks. none of them spoke english. rushed to learning lab in my school uniform for the first time. lol. then they all said i was cute? and wanted to take pictures of me. dots. thursday! training AGAIN! did MORE FOOTDRILL. oof. but this time for 3 hrs only. lunch! then lessons adn the talentime selections. wew had to sing. ALONE. and i just rushed through the whole thing. ok, i know i shoudn't have but i was too tired. i just wanted to go home and sleeep! today! friday! went for the civil defence course in YISHUN[so far away]! it was super fun! i arrived there before everyone else. so i was the only blur sotong from ij at first. i saw hidaya but didn't go say hi. then in the end audrey and wei ting didn't come. they actually gave some people a chance to put out a fire but i didn't get to :( grrrr. anyway, the inrtructors were hilarious! kept telling us about their experinces and joking about everything. there was one instructor that told us he encounted a woman who used a sanitary napkin to control this guy's bleeding! then when he told her she had to change it, she was using the new 2 layered type! so she just took the first layer out. lol. they also taught us CPR and put us in this small room and told us to cover all the windows and gaps at the door so the smoke wouldn't come in. they really let out smoke! but of course it wasn't lethal...but i was still screaming like crazy. had such a fun time after that, while waiting for my mom outside, we were making laughing like crazy! my mom gave the rest a ride to the mrt station. and we went home! another crazy week coming up! posted on Monday, November 06, 2006many thanks to peijing!if you get more than 30 you're paranoid. if you get 10 or less your fearless. people who don't have any are dummies who want people to think they are tough stuff. i fear... [ ]the dark-all the time [ ]staying single forever [x]giving birth [ ]being myself in front of others [ ]open spaces [ ]closed spaced [x]heights [ ]black cats [ ]dogs [ ]birds [ ]fish [x]spiders, ticks and/or other insects [ ]driving or being in cars [ ]flying [ ]flowers or other plants [ ]being touched [x]fire [xxxxx]deep water [x] the ocean [x]failure [ ]success [ ]thunder/lightning [ ]my boyfriend's dad [ ]my boyfriend's mom [ ]mice/rats [x]jumping from high places [ ]snow [ ]rain [ ]wind [xxxxx]crossing hanging bridges [x]death [ ]heaven [x]being robbed [ ]cotton balls [x]cemeteries [ ]clowns [ ]large crowds [ ]men [ ]women [ ]having great responsibility [ ]doctors, including dentists [x]tornadoes [x]hurricanes [x]diseases [x]snakes [x]sharks [ ]friday the 13th [ ]poverty [x]ghosts [ ]halloween [ ]school [ ]trains or rail roads [ ]odd numbers [ ]even numbers [ ]being alone [x]being blind [x]being deaf [ ]growing up [ ]monsters under my bed [x]creepy noises at night [x]bee stings [x]not accomplishing my goals/dreams [ ]needles [ ]blood [ ]dinosaurs [ ]the welcome mat my score: 21! i'm not paranoid! phew! decreases my likeliness of having paranoia. many thanks to pei jing! posted onanother quiz from pei jing! haha.1) what song are you listening to now? public affair, oh wait, it just changed to for you i will. 2) who is your bestest bestie [there's no such word as bestest...what's that supposed to mean anyway?] erm, i'm guessing it means who are my best friends. so anyway, i have a few best friends :DD JAIME, XYZ, LALA&ARIELLE! 3) what kind of dogs do you like? SHI TZU!!! 4)who's your partner? which partner? science lab? assembly? ... you could at least bother to be more precise 5) what do you like to do in the holidays? chattinig online, sleep, SHOPPING! 6) how do you feel about your life now? it's real messed up. 7) who do you hate the most? hmmm, myself? 8) what do you want to be when you grow up? rich, smart, happy. :DD 9) are you happy today? i guess so... 10) what thing(s) can you not live wothout? GOD~ MY FRIENDS! FAMILY! FOOD AND WATER 11) who do you like? like as in...? 12) how long can you stay in front of the television? depends what's on the television 13) do you like music? YES! 14) do you miss the days when you were in kindergarden? YES! we didn't have to pay attention. 15) do you get fed up easily? yes. VERY EASILY 16) what is the thing you are good at? listening to people crap 17) do you like people who call you names? depends what their calling me 18) are you easily jealous? depends, again, on the object of jealousy 19) do you like your parents? sometimes 20) do you like babies? YES! THEIR SOOOO ADORABLE! 21) have you ever wanted to kiss a boy? NO! 22) do you love your friends? YES!!! 23) name 6 of your best friends jaime, lala, xyz, arielle,[ ok i don't want to offend anyone i don't put here so erm, i shall just erm, leave the other two spaces blank?] 24) what emoticon do you like to put? :DD and ;) 25) do you have any wish(es) now? for everything to be alright 26) who do you like most? father or mother? and why? am i supposed to have a favourite? 27) day in school what will you do[ that's not really complete english...don't know what it means either] most of the time i'm talking away or dreaming? so it doesn't really make a difference 28) are you single? yes! i'm 13?!?! what were you expecting 29) do you love to chat? yesyesyes! 30) do you ever think of having a boyfriend? NO! firstly, i don't have time. secondly, every guy i know is gay or ugly. ok, with the exception of my dad and relatives... posted on Sunday, November 05, 2006what a busy week i have ahead of me! no free days! plus i'm striving to finish my homework by the end of november. really wonder how i will manage at this rate. went shopping today! my feet hurt real bad. especially my toes. feels like my toenails are about to come off! my mom wants me to remove the blue nail polish. :(hmm, let's see what i have to remind myself of. MONDAY 2-6 pm -- go to the library with jaime, xyz and lala 7pm-8PM -- princess hours 10pm-11PM -- ANTM! so i guess that's my whole afternoon gone. TUESDAY 8AM-4PM -- training 7PM-8PM -- princess hours 10PM-11PM -- CSI 11PM-12PM -- criminal minds! another day gone. WEDNESDAY 8.30AM-5.30PM -- civil defence workshop[ no LL! ] 7PM-8PM -- princess hours 10.30PM-11.30PM -- project runway! third day in a row. THURSDAY 8AM-4PM -- training 7PM-8PM -- princess hours 10PM-11PM -- prison break! sigh. FRIDAY [YES! I CAN SLEEP IN FOR ONCE] 4PM-5PM -- piano 7PM-8PM -- princess hours 10PM-11PM -- ghost whisperer that's the best i can get for 5 days. i can't wait for it to be over in that case. but even when trainings end, i'll still have to go christmas shopping, and i really want to go out with my friends!!!! especially anusha, qian yu and all. i feel terrible over the last time when nobody organised anything and we all didn't talk to each other. goodness! it's been almost a year since i last saw anusha! and i remembered without fail, today is SATHYA'S BRITHDAY! oh, it's such a pity i won't be able to see them all for a long time. i regret not being able to do anything during the june holidays because i was grounded.[ yes grounded for no reason that i can deem fit, the only time i was let out was probably camp] but this holdidays are super packed. if next year's are going to be this bad i might as well kill myself. the only thing i can possibly look forward to is that we're probably going to ENGLAND! and i am awfully excited about it.i shouldn't get my hopes too high. i am dying to go out! it's almost ridiculous giving homework during the december holidays. in the first place, i don't see why they call it a holiday! humans aare so retarded at times. especially grown-ups. for once in their patheitic life, they should see things from child's prespective. and give a freakin' damn about what we think. i shall end off before i get too angry. newspapergirl just your average girl with a wicked twist! lol. who likes to flood daffy's taggie. posted on Saturday, November 04, 2006okay. i copied this from pei jing because i am so bored.Can you name 13 of your friendss that you can think of right off the top of you head, don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 13 people. ths is a lot more fun if you actually randomly list the names first. no cheating! the order of the names and the people are just random so they don't mean anything. 1. jaime 2. clara 3. yun zhu 4. arielle 5. daffy 6. rui ann 7. jia an 8. francesca 9. mars 10. pei jing 11. yee wern 12. grace 13. xin hui [don't feel left out if your name isn't there!] how did you meet 10[pei jing]? this year. in 1/1. IPW! what would you do if you had never met 1[jaime]? i would have nobody to crap to and die of boredom. what would you do if 6 and 2 dated[clara and rui ann]? erm, that would be weird...but i would faint have you ever seen 4 cry[arielle]? yeah, when we were watching world trade centre do you think 10 is cute[pei jing]? yes! haha pinky pei jing! how did you get to know 8[francesca]? 1/1! along with science lab lessons and RED CROSS! would you ever go n a date with number 12[grace]? err, as in shopping? who's paying :DD what's 7's favourite colour[jia an]? erm. VIOLET what would you do if 6 confessed he/she loves you[rui ann]? i would porbably laugh, because she's most likely faking it. she's a VERY VERY GOOD actress. lol! fact about number 9[mars]: she reminds me to post! who is 4 going out with[arielle]? no one! haha we're still 13... who is number 5 to you[daffy]? the cute short girl who stands behind me during assembly and the girl who has hair which is fun to mess up! would you ever live with 13[xin hui]? hmm, wouldn't be that bad i guess, she's not a messy person. and likes to watch korean dramas! is 2 single[clara]? yes. oh wait, maybe there's a mystery guy in her life! *shocked* CLARA! how could you hide this from me? lol what do you think about 3[yun zhu]? she's a very uber funny person! and a very concern and caring SINGLISH teacher! what's the best thing about number 11[yee wern]? she is nice to talk to and forgives you! favourite memory with 6[rui ann]? the time when i cried after getting back our geog marks and she comforted me. THANKS A MILLION! this was fun to do. i should go find more...then i can let daffy do them! haha. [notice how your name is in PINK DAFFY?] :DD i can't wait for monday! get to see jaime, xyz and clra! haha! yeah! hmmm, it's getting late. i should be going to bed now but i know i won't be able to sleep for a long time. this post is nice and colourful. eye-catching ain't it? splendid, now, i know daffy is awfully infuriated at me. i'm terrible sorry to regret my dear, that i shall continue flooding your tagboard at the risk of your sanity and my safety. lol! okay, * play looney tunes music* that's all folks! elizabeth::.. AKA NEWSPAPERGIRL! posted on Friday, November 03, 2006wow. today sure has been some day. went to school to practice for footdrill accreditation tomorrow. in the end, we decided that francesca and me weren't going. we just aren't prepared. sigh. it was a nightmare practicing and realiseing we barely knew any of the drills. i mean, i am disappointed that we aren't going anymore but it can't be helped. no use rushing to take all the accreditations. before they decided for us, francesca and me were deciding and francesca said: scissors, paper, stone. if i win, we go, if you win we won't. then i won, and i immediately freaked and yelled: " no, no, i want to go!" without realising it. i just couldn't stop myself. burst out laughing. we must have seemed insane to the ma'ams. now, i am trying to do my math but it's impossible because i hate construction. stupid lines and circles. and jaime went to vivo today! not fair. haha. i took a bus home today! yay. third time taking a bus home from toa payoh. came home and took a nice long shower, before i ate lunch and went to sleep. the only problem was, i couldn't sleep. so i ended up reading. now here i am, typing this post. stupid right? went to see daffy's blog. haha. just so cute the way she answers. i shall flood her tagboard soon. just need to think of other things to say. haha. i shall make up a story about her being a cute little girl in pink! yipee, off i go now! bye!*[[ elizabeth ::.. aka your darling newspapergirl! okay, maybe not darling...more of a devil. (: still starts with "D" haha. jaime thinks all guys are gay! |
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