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Where Did You Come From LadyElizabeth Tan♥ |
posted on Saturday, February 28, 2009sometimes i wish that all the stuff in the newspaper wasn't real.because the world isn't fair. nothing is. but why does it suddenly seem to be crashing down harder than before. why is it that 5 people close to me have lost a loved one within 2 months. why do we always look upon death as such an unfortunate event we ask the questions we already know the answer to. yet we refuse to accept the truth for it never has anything to do with facts. we always think death is bad because of the pain we feel. but what about the ones who have left? they're not sad, they're not suffering, they're not in pain anymore so why do we still cry? you know they've gone to this better place and all that but where does that leave you? after all those months of crying and worrying and praying and fearing and trying and fighting it's just suddenly over. and all you're left with is that pain. we can't help but miss them can we? it's always hard to let go of the things we love because we live in a world that teaches us to clutch. but when we clutch, all we're left with is ashes. posted on Thursday, February 26, 2009ahh, okay.i need to change my blogskin. it's the main reason why i avoid my blog. grrr. i hate being sec 4. still feels like sec 3. with surprisingly a lot less homework. haha. i've been sleeping a lot lately. i just always feel so exhausted. but i'm absolutely crazy about reading. i don't think i've ever read so much in my life. haha, like suddenly i love reading. hmmm, and i'm overly-excited about going to kino tmr. okay, something's wrong... i guess it's been hard for my family especially still is. but you just don't know how to deal with it. but i'm keeping my end of the bargain, so she'd better stay happy. well, at least i'm trying to. i'm even starting to go back to hs instead of always going to st ig. but it's still painful to go back to hs when there are too many memories of her there. i don't know how i'll ever be able to step into the chapel again. i'll still light candles when i can but i just don't want to go near the chapel. i'm not ready to move on. and it's true. i can't give myself a specific time frame to move on. you never really do move on from these things and they take quite a bit of time. but all the same, these things happen. and i shouldn't be afraid to let go just because i don't want to forget. like i said, these things never truly leave you. |
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