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Where Did You Come From LadyElizabeth Tan♥ |
posted on Sunday, October 18, 2009i can't believe it still.no more ij): it feels so weird. it's like riding a bike (okay, i don't ride bikes but whatever). you start of with those trainer wheels right? like, the small ones on the side. so you had 4 wheels. and you kept going forward, knowing you were safe. and you always wondered when you'd get to take them off and how liberated you'd feel. yet, you never knew they could possibly hold so much sentiment. and when you've finally taken them off, it's almost like you don't know what to do. you're on your own with nothing but 2 wheels(your faith) and your feet to get you going. you're unsure and apprehensive. you don't want to keep going cause you don't want to fall. keep your eyes on the road. but you can still keep going. and as you continue your foray into a world with little comfort, you realise that you can still balance. and this ability to balance was taught to you, nutured and cultivated in you, trained and hell even forced into you. and it's because of the trainer wheels that you feel so safe still. you can almost still feel them there. you just can't believe they're gone. you'll keep turning behind, i'm sure, constantly thinking that you'll see those 2 little wheels but at the same time realising it was not so much the fact that they were there that helped you, but what they taught you and how they changed you. so, thank you IJ for all the sweet memories and lessons i'll live to never forget. ILY posted on Friday, October 16, 2009oh the horror!today was our last day in ij! okay, maybe it was a half-day. but whatever. we spent most of it running around and taking pictures. didn't get to take pictures with everyone and all the teachers ): but, i don't know. it just really doesn't feel like goodbye. it's almost as though, it's just not possible; 10 years in ij! and to think that today was the last official day. i couldn't stop crying when i got home. felt like crap most of the time. everyone's talking about what jc they're aiming for and stuff but can you really phantom not being in ij? it's just so hard to imagine. we won't be able to scream and shout as loud as before, we can't skip and run about screaming "i love you!", "did you miss me?", "darling" and a considerable number of other endearments down the corridoors. omg! no more singing happy birthday competitions. haha. and we have to disband the coffee club since baba is going to poly even though i wish her all the very best in her stylish endeavours. oh, this is terrible. we're not going to be together anymore. i hate the thought of jc. or any other post-secondary education for that matter, simply because it is not ij. no matter what they say about cj, you know it's never gonna be the same and that's really putting me off. i don't know where i want to go right now. oh no! what if we can't have like these moments when we all just go seriously high (on oxygen... or just each others' company, i swear) and just laugh like nobody's damn business!? ahhh! arielene!!!! on the bright side, andrea tan, judith and me learnt a number of very interesting new things during math tuition today. all of which have nothing to do with math. but anyway, we learnt that bananas can be red! omg, mr tan, our math tuitor gave us red bananas. it was damn strange. we took pictures of it. haha. and i told mr tan about darth vadar. haha! okay, inside joke. i think only ij girls will know who i'm talking about cause i've told the story to a lot of people. we also learnt more about mr tan's twin, his wife's twin, our very strange neighbourhood and that mr tan cannot whistle. haha. totally random. but andrea was like "you can't whistle?" and he was like "no." then judith and me said "you can whistle?" andrea: "no, but that's not the point!" and she only realised he had a ceiling fan after like, 3-4 years of going to mr tan for tuition? haha. funny thing is she only realised it because mr tan said another student who'd been with him for 3 years didn't realise it. haha. i have to buy all my teachers really special presents. they rock. haha. and we spent 4 hours at math tuition... i think we talked more than anything else but who cares right? it was just one whole day jam packed with nostalgia. oh man. why!? i hate growing up. we should all call peter pan to come and pick us up so we can go play with fairies in neverland. i should go sleep now. posted on Friday, October 09, 2009praise the Lord."whatever happens, always remain at peace and trust in God" i love those words by blessed nicholas barre. somehow we always think it's so hard to trust God but the truth is all the while we're just clinging on to him for support, telling him we don't know what to do; that's trusting him isn't it? just letting him do what's best. i loved the retreat after prelims! fr simon is funny. the whole thing was really meaningful(: i think that was just what i needed after the whole year, the past 3 years, in fact. and it came just in time. the past few weeks in school have been really hilarious. but somehow quite sad too. it was a bit overwhelming today when i looked around. (even though almost half my class didn't show up...) i keep wondering if i'll ever have what i have here in ij with any place else. and i know the answer's no. like how i'll never get to draw absolute rubbish on post-its with mang, baba and sam during lessons. i'll might not get the chance to hold cute little conversations with tiny handwriting on sam's post-its, i won't get to talk about what i want to name my kids and how i want to die with arielene, i won't get to go over to 4/3 during recess and learn how to play cards and talk about random stuff, no more losers corner, no more bullying phoebe): sigh. and i wasted the triple chinese today. i ended up reading the bell jar even though i know i'm not supposed to read it cause my mom is afraid i might just spiral into depression the way sylvia plath did. but i'm dying to read it! i only read something about this guy called buddy being a hypocrite cause i flipped open to some random pages. please believe me when i say i'm trying. |
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