back from perth!
posted on Friday, November 30, 2007
yeah baby! it was fun! summary: i went on an art trip organised by the funtastic ms ho. my hilarious roomates were clara and yun zhu! day 1: (24/11/07, saturday) i had the biggest luggage out of my groupmates. [don't ask] 9am flight. gathered at 7am. the flight was bumby. didn't get to sit with my groupmates. and for some reason i ended up watching hairspray... we landed. it was very shaky. it was 37 degrees celcius! like, whoa. we went to raebrun orchard [just the shop. no tour of the orchard] and we did our first shopping there! buying food and nibbling the samples. next we went to our tiny hotel room! there was a double bed and a single bed pushed together. clara took the single, i slept in the middle of the two and yz took the side cause she wanted the light. the shower door was spoilt so the water kept spilling out while we bathed. we kept drinking the milk in the fridge![the small ones that they give on the plane] yeah we talked all night long! just kept going till 12+ when clara got cranky. took silly photos and laughed our heads off!
day 2: big breakfast in the hotel-2poached eggs, bacon, hashbrown, sausage and 2 slices of bread. and...wait for it... shopping! but first we went to monuement hill. where it was freezing! plus i was wearing a sleeveless top and my group didn't bring a jacket because of yz's and clara's great advice. then we went to the fremantle market where i shopped the most out of my groupmates. [why's it always me?] bought presents for my darling friends! some are small but say a lot. very interesting place. almost got cheated by accident ;) we went for a fish and chips lunch! then toured a prison. it was quite sad. only one guy was executed- a 16 year old, for stealing a loaf of bread. terrible isn't it? they made the prisoners build the prison. imagine how torturing that is. to build something only to be locked away in it. the irony of it all drives you insane. but next at the awesome art festival we painted on a cardboard house. it was pretty cool. then we were allowed to shop for 2 hours. i bought more presents and gelato :) yes, despite the weather i still wanted gelato! went back and slept earlier but this time clara was awake. so i tried to stay awake &talk to her. we listened to her mp3 and fell asleep with it on! and in the morning i thought i lost my wallet! but i managed to find it :)
day 3: boring!? we just toured art gallery after art gallery. [like i haven't had enough of that?!] but there were some interesting parts. i liked the W.A gallery. [i think it was called that] went back and slept. that's about it i think...oh, we ate kebabs. :D it was nice!
day 4: cutin! yeap! we went to university! lol. got that joke from our bus driver. he was a funny guy. we started of weaving using the aboriginal method. we had to use our hands and FEET! it was pretty hard! yz's turned out pretty. i never completed mine. it was too hard. then we went on to felting! it was total coolness. i made a scarf[didn't turn out too well] i tried to make it lacy and thin unlike every one's which was thick. but it ended up it holes. luckily it looks like part of the design. haha. made beads too! cute right?
day5: back to cutin! we did print making and embroidery. the print making was fun but the paint on mine didn't come off completely. the embroidary was very differnt from what i thought it would be. we had to draw our friend's face, then place the paper on the cloth and use a sewing machine to sew the lines without cutting the thread. weird? yes. and being me, i can't sew for nuts&i've never touched a sewing machine in my life. so yes, it was 200% weird. and i thought i lost my handphone AGAIN! but we found it in the plastic bag. i was on the verge of crying cause i just lost my handphone a few weeks ago. it was extremely traumatising.
day6: last day! went to caversham wildlife park. at first we we'ren't sure if they were open cause some joker lit a bushfire at night. but luckily they were open. no harm done. the wombat was big. yes, big and fat. yz held it but i didn't dare. and we fed the kangaroo! it put it's paw-like hand[or foot] on my hand! so cute! then i dropped my ear stud near the dingos so ms ho, la, and yz accompanied me back to find it. ms ho found the backing while yz found the front. thank goodness for them! then we shopped in their shop, and left for the airport. he played the mathilda song for us! it's called waltzing mathilda and we loved the song! haha. we ended up singing along. didn't get to say a personal goodbye to trevel [our bus driver] ): but i hope God blesses his kind soul. shopped around in the airport bought somemore things and got to sit with caroline on our trip back! she has motion sickness, the poor thing. watched liscecne to wed and part of no reservations. there was something wrong with my tv thing at one point. so i got quite fed up. but before we left, in the departure hall, i saw these two ladies, one was leaving and the other had come to see her off. they were crying and just as one stepped into the departure hall she turned back to see her friend crying and she gave her a big hug. whne i saw this i felt like crying too. cause i understand how hard is must be to be separated from your loved ones. she must have been leaving for a long time, or migrating possibly. i hope God blesses them too. when we got back i was washing my ear studs when they fell into the sink! i was like wth?! and i almost cried! then dad came up and unscrewed the pipe thing at the bottom. and we found it there. thank God right? i think i have to pray to st anthony more, so i don't keep losing things. haha.
i went to sleep at 9.30 [that's the earliest record since p2 i think] woke up at 5.30, went back to sleep and woke up at 10 am this morning :D made pancakes! and sorted out my lugagge. i still think i should have bought more sutff. i hope jie likes the big limited edition packet of skittles i bought for her! she's coming back from the conference tonight. :D
posted on Friday, November 23, 2007
ahhh! i'm so doomed. tomorrow i'm flying off and i haven't finished packing. and i'm going out tonight to watch a movie and eat, i am such a pig. i hope they don't call while i'm in perth! council camp yesterday was quite fun! i wish i could have gone to IMH with them. would have been pretty cool. and my group is the best. haha. named after dharlynnie. cool right? [i'm being sarcastic here] my lovely group members: wing lam, sarahH, alesia, hanisan, jessica vincent, petrina and me. of course dharlynnie was our facil. we played many many lame and fuinuny games! and we were screaming like crazy! especially the abc game and 007. haha. sarah was super violent la! she refused to let go of my hand and kept whacking it! haha. cheat! but it was darn hilarious! it really gets our blood gushing and jacks up our heartbeat. ping and pong was just plain confusing! and petrina is the funniest person i have ever met. funny in both ways- haha funny and weird funny. she spelt the group name wrong twice, on our 'baby'[the 'baby' is actually an egg]. swore to finish her food i quote 'clean clean' declared herself anti-band girls cause they had better food than us and did lots of other silly thingss[ amongst which includes her being herselfcoughcoughslow] the games were fun, and i hope our 'baby' doesn't get smashed! go Dharl(s)! [the 's' is optional, only petrina pronounces it like that] slow but smart! we were first ok! first from the back heh. i am going to watch 'order of the phoenix' tonight! leave for perth tomorrow and come back and go to greece! yes, i am going to kill myself people! :)) pray that the food in greece is nice. and that my handphone or wallet doesn't get stolen. and that i finish packing on time!
D! have fun!
frot canning!
posted on Wednesday, November 21, 2007
fort canning is pretty. and has a lot of tourists. today i woke up early, like 9am? and jaime sms-ed to say she didn't want to go today cause she didn't know how to go. then when i told her where she was like, ok! where do you want to meet. and i was still in my pjs and messy hair. and guess what?!
I TOOK AN MRT ALL ON MY OWN! yeah, i rock baby!
i didn't get lost, i didn't miss my stop, i didn't freak out. just that it was soooo crowded. mom fetched me to j8 so i took an mrt from there. met jaime and michelle at plaza sing and walked around. gosh it was pretty fun. then we went to the school and realised that they were closed. grrrr! so we had to call the number and the woman who picked up asked me: "how old are your children?" i almost died when she asked me that question! like...erm... i'm 14...
came back, rested for a while, then went for LL, which totally sucked. ms ong was being nasty and making us stay for everyone's oral presentation. and i was superly late. we ended at 7 instead of 6.30. like wth?! she was so darn annoying.
now i'm back home obviously, and i just finished packing for council camp. oh mann, i'm starting to think that i shouldn't have joined council again. what if i'm not cut out for it? what if everyone expect me to be like my sister and i turn out the complete opposite? i should have been more practical. how the hell am i going to manage all this? yet the other side of me thinks that it's fun and all. there's no harm trying. if God gave me this opportunity why shouldn't i take it? maybe i'm just too tired.
oh darn! i need to pack for perth! stop procrastinating! rarr!
escape again
posted on Tuesday, November 20, 2007
today was crazy. i went to escape with hillh, xiuli[suzy!], fran, cuilin, cuilin's brother and her mom. fran was like damn late! cui lin's mom was very nice. (: we had fun, i guess. but the main rides like ranbow and the viking ship were servicing. got soaked through and it rained!!! shouldn't have worn that pair of shoes today. now they're spoiled. i wonder if i can try fix 'em. quite a pity if their gone. they were the last pair.
i wanted to go to fort canning today. but nevermind, we shall go tomorrow. have to start packing for perth and council camp. gosh. i'm so far behind. and mom doesn't want to give me too much money for perth cause i'll buy all sorts of rubbish. exciting weeks ahead!
this week- monday: training tuesday: outing to escape, pack for perth wednesday: fort canning, shopping, LL, pack for council camp&perth thursday: council camp [not staying overnight], pack for perth friday: pack for perth sat: flight to perth PERTH!
i'll be back on thursday! then i'll be off again on 7th. wonderful right? non-stop packing. gosh my feet hurt.
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posted on Sunday, November 18, 2007
this is just one of those times.
1. and i'm staring straight at it. i can't believe it. sometimes i think i've got it all sorted out but i don't this life is a mess. i know, right? all those lies hidden underneath all those years of trying i need to know. i just need to try give it one shot. i'm not even remotely sure if this is going to turn out the way i want it to. but there's no harm trying. and you know what? im scared. i've always been scared. cause all my life i've lived with such fear. and yet no one told me anything. was i forsaken? i don't know. all my life i've just listened and tried to be that girl well i just can't go one being her. i want to be someone else. but why is it everytime, every single little time, i am pushed back down.
retarded- means to be held back or restrained. if that's the case then yes, i am retarded i guess. but i don't want to be. i was, not long ago, told that i was talented. surprised? i bet you are. cause you're the only one who refuses to believe in me. the only one who keeps forcing me. the only one who doesn't understand me. yet, i listen to you. because this is what i owe you. and many a time i ask, is it love or obligation? because in our case, the two seem almost inter-changeable. in fact, very inter-changeable. but one must not forget the bonds that hold us together. no, i have never forgotten. because they are the very bonds that are smothering me. threatening to suffocate my every fibre of zest left. i cannot live life like this anymore. you can't keep controlling me and you know it. you can try by all superficial means to hold on to me. but it's not working out too well is it? i'm sorry. but i can't continue like this. and we both know it.
2. i hate it that you people lie to me. when i can so obviously see the truth. i scoff at your ignorance. but who will i tell? you can say so many things but yet, i can never believe you because of all the times you've lied to me. how do think i feel? everyone can see through you and your ridiculous attention-seeking gimics. you think i don't know you're faking it? either that or you're just plain dumb.
[i know, this is getting terribly angsty and emo, like ms ong says i am but this is the last part of it. addressed to person3] 3. i think i'm going crazy. and it's all because of you. i keep searching and searching for stupid things and thinking about it all day but it's driving me nuts. but you're a nice person, don't get me wrong. it's really not your fault or anything. i just wish i could stop thinking so much. it's my fault, really. my fault for wanting too much, wanting to be free. sometimes i think i should just give up. stop trying to rebel but then, i wouldn't be myself would i? you're just to complicated for me. i don't know what to do.
posted on
so glad accred is over i passed fd silver! whoots! told you i could do it! anyway, when i called my parents to come and pick me up i had to call like 4 times before dad picked up. the disadvantage of using mom's phone. and apparantly, they were reaal close to vivocity anyway, we didn't go for normal sunset mass at our church we went to st joseph's church! interesting place then we went to eat at le pont de vie[don't ask me how to pronounce it] it was a super cool place. and the food rocked the ambiance was preetayee! small but very nice and seated a few tables away was hossan leong and his friends. lol. they were going to watch some show upstairs postcards from rosa. i hear it's pretty good wish i could go watch it but got lots of stuff to do before perth and greece! gosh. then we went to vivocity! cause jie's got a $50 voucher from zara [from her prom] that lucky bummer. haha we walked round till all the shops closed. had lots of fun! went to plaza sing today. got a new sim card. and i have to use dad's old phone which is super heavy.. and i can't believe it cost so much!? anyway, my family has officially gone into the sorting-out-&-buying-winter-clothing phase. this should be interesting.
AP! call me please! i have something to tell you! haha
savage garden!whoo!
today!
posted on Thursday, November 15, 2007
i went shopping with mom. only went round amk town central bought some clothes [which desperately need to be altered], some cosmetics stuff, donuts, earring stuff and shoes! niceniceshoes! they were the last pair. managed to get a discount cause they were the pair on display. phew! luckily i managed to get that pair. jie's at grad night! hope she has fun tomorrow there's training again :( and on sat there's accred :( i think i won't make it. next tuesday is games meeting! i hope it's the dry-run! poor AP, i meant preston can't come... she is so gonna kill me. and she'd better tag if she reads this or i will strangle her! and tmr there is council clean-up! it's going to be a tiresome day
today you walked right past me. i wonder if you actually saw me. probably didn't. why can't i seem to let you go? or maybe i have, i don't know. but i think i'm definitely moving on. with or without you. so don't come back around and give me that look. i'm not gonna take it back
posted on Tuesday, November 13, 2007
some bloody asshole stole my handphone. fine. i lost it. either way, the bloody asshole took it and didn't return it after the workshop, i went to j8 to watch stardust with jaime and michelle. just before the movie started i switched my phone to silent after the movie we left, went to the washroom, macs and kfc before realising it was missing. so after retracing the steps like a mad dog, no, we didn't find it. ruddy pain in the ass. suspended the line. but that's not the point. i mean, the pouch and keychain are gone. that pouch was from thailand, my mom altered the string so it would fit. the keychain was from clara. it was the nicest keychain ever. the most treasured and now that stupid asshole gone and probably thrown it in the drain. i hope that person burns in hell. but i shall remain composed and be happy
workshop: today was the second day of the creative writing workshop at RI- discovering your voice talk about cliche i was early ok?! clara didn't come cause she had a stmachache talk about being weak but we played "i accuse" it was super fun but i was totally dreaming during the first part AP and diane were completely blank during the second part! then we played this game where he gave us the plush cushion ball again the girls against guys. we had to throw the cushion at the guys to freeze them but if another unfrozen guy picks it up he can throw it at his frozen friends to unfreeze them so i became sort of violent? and the guys seemed to be freaked out quite a bit. i think we were the only ones who did our reflections cause we saw ben showing them to michael but anyway, michael asked us to get 10 interesting items in the room and make a story with them! so AP and me worked together and made up the stupidest stories that rewrote humpy-dumpty's history! haha then we wrote our 'bestselling children's story: the cow that fell to earth' it had to be 10 pages long with max 20 words on a page i did the cute pictures! on the first page only. it was a really silly story. machael said it was 'sweet' i think he meant retarded. but COUGHprestonCOUGH AP was kind of getting high. then it ended late so i had to run to j8 still really sad about losing my handphone even though it was a sucky phone. it still means a lot to me especially since it has so many contacts and pictures of my baby cousin she was just so adorable and some very important, meaningful messages. plus all the dates that i have something on. it also has the song "one way" which i love. and now i don't have an alarm clock. damn that idiot. i prayed to Mother Mary that i would get my phone back but i guess evil dishonest and ruddy idiotic people can't be saved
gahh. be positive honey, it's ok.
posted on Monday, November 12, 2007
today was the workshop at RI! it was funfunfun especially the gerbils! haha. [the gerbils actually have nothing to do with it] today started off weird.
i was late. and AP nagged and nagged! mom said it would take 5 mins to get to RI. but there was traffic. so what did you expect me to do? walk?! lol. at first i was kinda lost when i got there. there was some other science and research congress thing? so i thought i was in the wrong place. then when we went up we were the only girls school there. the only other school was RI. ben said it was refreshing to see girls in a class. and i was a bit freaked cause i thought we got the instructions wrong or something.. i was expecting a whole lot of other schools like RGS and HC. but queenstown came. liling came too! then we met michael corbidge funny! when he took out that cow-sheep looking thing i was like wah?! and he threw it at tiffany! the poor thing! then we went to their black box. it wasn't as black as ours but bigger. the floor was sucky. sort of did round robin stuff pretty cool the excercise that we had to pair up with a guy was NOT fun. it was retarded cause we were stating the obvious. we were supposed to pair up with a member of the opposite gender. state one physical characteristic of the partner and the partner will repeat e.g my partner said: you have brown eyes i say: i have brown eyes. that kind of retarded thing. so we raced through it and then stoned.
we forced tiffany to eat the tart. and AP has officially been dubbed preston. so we call her preston! haha. don't ask why. there was no guy called preston at RI.
we had our trip to fort canning with ben. we went to his school [SAVAskool] and then left for the battle box. coolness right? then we had a tour and went back to his school[skipping all the details cause i wanna talk about the gerbils!] and he was debriefing us in a classroom and we got so distracted by the gerbils in the cage so ben took one out. and it crapped. so one boy was like: "oh shit." and ben said: "oh shit indeed.". the place was pretty cool. especially the chairs. haha. AP, cough, i mean preston was very excited about the chairs and tap dancing! maybe we should learn tap dancing from ben since he teaches it. lol. [tap dancing or ballroom.?]
got back and came home! and now i have to write reflections and think about: "the cow that fell to earth" cool right? workshop continues tomorrow! and then i'm going out to watch stardust at j8! :D jealous? i know you are. i shall race to catch the earliest show possible after the workshop cause i wanna watch it before my sister can. muahahaha. her o-levels finish tomorrow too! she's going to town. i shall take a bus home after. or at least try. poor coughprestoncough can't come with us to watch cause she has to go back to school. sigh. the poor girl. and jaime is thinking about it. grrr. if she doesn't come, arielle probably won't come cause it'll be pretty late and la and me will be like 2 loners. and she won't want to take neoprints.
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i can't stand this. i hate going for trainings. i'm sorry it's so frank but i hate it. i mean three times a week? we've all got our own social lives here and we need some space to breathe. i need to just be able to breathe damnit. especially after such a tense year. i need to chill. i need rest. rest and more rest. cause i just realised that the signs of exhaustion started showing up a year ago. if continued for more than 6 months, complications appear. and i've already had quite a few complications and the more serious ones are beginning to affect me already. so yes, i hate training cause i'm too exhausted. check wikipedia if you need to know. sometimes i just really regret joining red cross cause it's so darn obvious that i was never cut out for this sort of thing anyway. so why did i hold on? why did i keep disillusioning myself to think that i could pull it off? why do i always wanna be so bloody perfect. i look at those pictures and they don't care. i really envy them. i wish i didn't have to care. they don't give a damn about whether people say they're fat or not, they're comfortable in their own skin. why can't i be that? why can't i just not be so paranoid? why didn't i stop when i realised that something was wrong? i should have cut myself some slack and stopped 6 months ago. but no. being stupid me i had to keep my mouth shut. and this is where it lands me. you have no idea. so stop pretending like you do. cause you just whine at every single little thing that happens to you. so don't even think you know what it's like. cause i can tell from your pulse and nails that you're lying. it's pretty obvious too. your fingernails tell me a lot about you. and they tell me things you don't even know.
class BBQ!
posted on Sunday, November 11, 2007
yesterday was the bomb! class BBQ started at 6 but i was there at 4.50 thanks to my dad. we cooked our own food! nuggets, sausagges, satay, chicken wings etc ate lots of chips sang songs! played pass the parcel saluted to ms mazlind and mrs tan played i neverr and truth or dare and got the truth out of AP! plus, arielle gave me the sweetest present ever! i cried after opening it and i couldn't stop crying i shall not reveal it yet cause i have yet to pass clara her's whoo! it rocked. it totally rocked. and when i came back i couldn't sleep till 1+ this morning and i woke up at 7.20 thought i was late for 9am mass then i came back and slept till lunch and watched tv till now watched ghost hunters and some wildest videos thing the ghost hunters was a bit freaky but quite sad. the second case was sad. it's a long story. the wildest videos thing was really wild and scary it's another long story so i won't explain here and tomorrow i'm going for my creative writing workshop with la, AP, tiffy, and diane then on tues i'm going out after to watch stardust! exciting week eh? wed there's council cleanup or should i go on friday? saturday there's accred not really positive but nevertheless it's a busy year
if it hasn't been your day, week or month or even your year... :)
posted on Saturday, November 10, 2007
i don't know how to explain. it's kind of strange some people jump to weird conclusions before you even say anything. plus it really pisses me off sometimes.
and the freaking internet is slow today. and the laptop is lagging. annoying! plus the video is buffering every 2 seconds. explaination for all of this: mom made me move the laptop back to her room.previously it was pretty fast cause it was in my study room.
class BBQ today! exciting right? hope it turns out alright.
posted on Friday, November 09, 2007
i am having a headache. from being on the computer too long. but i need to get somethings done. so how now brown cow? i love those rhyming phrases. what the hell. i think the headaches from something else: annoying people. grrr. always bugging the hell out of me.
joy luck club!
posted on
i just watched jlc- the movie! jie says it was pretty good but it didn't stay true to the book. sad. sad sad! i'm serious. i wanted to cry but i'm always labled as emotional. sigh i think i shall read the book.
posted on Thursday, November 08, 2007
hillaryh's turn!
3 things i hate about you:
1) you make me laugh too much, my stomach always hurts [technically, i hate the pain not your funny-ness]
2) you're so scatter-brained! running into poles and dropping jelly!
3) eh... erm...
most memorable words said: "love you" :)
if she was my lover i would: NO COMMENT.
if she was my enemy i would: not talk to her
if she dies i would: be devastated! then i won't have a nuttier-nut!
pass this to 10 other people.-already done it.
posted on Wednesday, November 07, 2007
this is a snippet of a conversation between michelle and me. in which, you find that i am hopeless with the computer
you are (not) alone. //michelle says: but, how big is your hard disk? { elizabeth. crash&burn♥ 2/1! bring extra clothes for this saturday! says: i don't know you are (not) alone. //michelle says: go check. { elizabeth. crash&burn♥ 2/1! bring extra clothes for this saturday! says: wait, a hard disk is what you are (not) alone. //michelle says: . . . you are (not) alone. //michelle says: . . . you are (not) alone. //michelle says: the thing where documents are put in...? { elizabeth. crash&burn♥ 2/1! bring extra clothes for this saturday! says: oh, the big rectangle thing you are (not) alone. //michelle says: "big rectangle thing...?!!!!?!?!?!!" { elizabeth. crash&burn♥ 2/1! bring extra clothes for this saturday! says: that you slot the cd's into right you are (not) alone. //michelle says: ?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?1 you are (not) alone. //michelle says: that's the CPU?!?!??!?!?!?! { elizabeth. crash&burn♥ 2/1! bring extra clothes for this saturday! says: oh { elizabeth. crash&burn♥ 2/1! bring extra clothes for this saturday! says: haha { elizabeth. crash&burn♥ 2/1! bring extra clothes for this saturday! says: then how do you check { elizabeth. crash&burn♥ 2/1! bring extra clothes for this saturday! says: i'm using a laptop
hence, she had to give me a step by step instruction on how to check the hard drive. in the conversation, it is also revealed that i do not know how to use veoh. how stupid could i possibly get. oh well, at least now i know.
posted on
3 things you hate about me [stephanie] 1- you don't talk enough 2- you sound very dead most of the time 3- you are LAME! haha. just kidding, i don't really hate your lame-ness.
the most memmorable words i said to you: my name is stephanie.
if i was you lover you would eh?!
if i was your enemy you would: rarr! i would probably just ignore you
if i die you will: cry, mourn and go to your funeral. don't worry, i'll remember you
pass this to 10 people: [i want to say clara but she doesn't have a blog.] hillaryh jia an jaime cheryl yun zhu francesca yee wern [i want to say amandapai cause i know she comes here but doesn't tag! that meanie!] hillaryk i don't care, i'm counting AP and clara! :) they can send it to me by email.
streaming results
posted on Tuesday, November 06, 2007
i'm into 3/2. don't assume that by the full stop i'm not happy. i am. it's just... something else bugging me. i'm gonna miss 2/1 07. i'm gonna miss 'em loads. don't think i'll ever get over it.
so i'm gonna cry myself to sleep and i'll be fine in another week but i won't forget you no, baby, i won't cause you're just way too sweet. and it's all because of you i can't bear to let you go now, girl you know i won't so we'll just keep hanging on hanging in there keep fighting the good fight. cause we know God's up there and he'll help us he'll help us make it through
posted on Monday, November 05, 2007
it's raining. but it seems to be lightening up a bit. and i started wondering... is it okay to forget? i didn't even take notice if it rained on her death annivesary this year. maybe it was because i was too exhausted in the lit seminar thing but... is this a sign that i'm moving on? it's like i love the rain, yet hate it so. cause there are so many bad things linked to it yet so many wonderful things that it reminds me of. it rained the day she died. i remember the ground being wet when we dug her grave. it rained the day after she died i remember wanting to go outside and dig her back out of the wet soil thinking that she'd still be alive. you can't begin to imagine that feeling can you. for one year i've searched for ways to let go, to move on... and now, i think i've finally accomplished that
part of me wants to break these chains &part of me wants to keep them locked up tight part of me wants to stop these rains part of me wants them to fall all night
i can't find a better way to put it. just to think that i'm moving on, is it alright? what if i move on completely without her, and forget everything despite that great scar it's left, i still wanna hold her close, even if it means leaving a constantly open wound cause it's all i've got. no longer taking notice of things that would have mattered... i don't know. i just don't.
and i realised one other thing - i'm still scared of thunder; just like her...
posted on Saturday, November 03, 2007
last cat class today! yes! i know it seems pretty shallow of me to rejoice but i seriously don't think they help me. i need to be free! sigh. missing something in my heart. i know exactly what it is. but let's move on.
i wan online till about 3am yesterdayee! and then mom came in and scolded my sister and me. it is a super warm day today! and i am bored cause somebody didn't upload the rest of a video i was watching. *grumbles* crap. need to leave for cat class soon. better go.
thought you should know i've tried my best to let go of you-
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