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Where Did You Come From LadyElizabeth Tan♥ |
posted on Saturday, July 29, 2006so much to say again. i shall start with farewell camp!!!!!:D:D:Dit was lovely but we didn't cry. i really expected myself to be the first one to cry but none of the cadets cried. i guess we were all waiting for someone else to start crying becasue we were sort of afraid. it made me realise how strong all the people in red cross are. to be able to hold back your tears and stay happy although your heart is screaming out for someone is really hard. anyway, the performance was quite...okay. when we were decorating the dance studio for glamour night, we put candles on tissue paper on the floor. unfortunately, the tissue paper caught fire, twice!!! we were screaming like crazy. haha. ten the sec ones performed first! we were so unprepared. we did a spoof of footdrill and at the end we asked ma'am joan to come sing a solo of the red cross song!! we pulled ma'am xiao xiang along :D the sec two's performance was way funnier and the sec 3 sang for us. we never reaelly got to bond with this batch of ma'ams...during ma'ams special time, the ma'ams told us how disappointed they were with us and they said that when lots of cadets come ma'am xiao xiang will always go:"yeah!" haaha. then they imitated her. ma'am joan cried. that really made me see that even the strongest people cry. tried to remain happy. the sec 2 seniors said that one of the cadets was really annoying and bossy. at first they didn't want to be specific but then they told us it was a junior!!! ahhhh i got very paranoid after that. but frn and me know who it is now. we slept at like, 2 in the morning. THE NEXT DAY. we got promoted!!! all the sec ones!!! yay! i'm now lance coporal! whoots! LOL. after camp we had to rush to the camp site again for casualty evacuation bronze accred again. at first we thought that we would be taking public transport. in the end, the ex-ma'ams mom[ma'am alycia, teresa's sister...] sent us there. so kind right?? :D thank you aunty! we arrived late...but we had an excuse!!!:D theory paper!! frn n me passed! whoopee!the next day was practical. i left before the results were made. during tuition i was so scared i would fail. i nearly cried in the middle of tuition!!! in the end, i was so tired i fell asleep. when i woke up, my tuition teacher was gone!! sorry mrs lee!!! i just went back to sleep. then my sister said frn called and said i passed. i was elated!! then she called again. and guess what. i didn't just pass. i got 5th!!! i didn't even study! so that means...if i studied...i would have gotten higher?? shoots. haha. but frn n me were planning to call mei xia ma'am and alycia ma'am to tell them we failed. we kind of forgot to call them ?? :D even though we said we would... then there was yesterday. when i cried...again. my mom wouldn't let me and still won't let me go for CAC. it's so not fair! i mean, they need the support!! where's your common sense?!?! she didn't even have to send me there or fetch me back!!! she always give so many darn excuses!! and she practically contradicted herself. one min she sad she was going to bring me swimming. few seconds later, she said i was supposed to do my work! i mean, wtf?!?! i could have killled somebody at that moment. fine! i admit that i may be a bit obsessed with red cross and all but so? what has that got to bloody do with you??? it's my life so just back of for once in your bloody pathetic life!! so angry just thinking about it. i cried not just because i couldn't go but because what matters to me never mattered to her. i hate her so badly sometimes. i wish she'd just realise how much i try. i can't be my sister for GOD's sake! can't you use your common sense?!? do you even have any??? getting 17 in class was quite good considering that my paper was modified and all the stupid projects. but no. you just had to go on and on about how she got top in this and that. what the hell is wrong with you?! i don't care if you tell me to delete this blog! if you do i'll practically go insane. yea, maybe one day when i get depression and start threatening to kill myself you'll realise how much i tried and how much pain i felt. you think i like wrting this? it hurts so bad i have to write it down! oh shit. i'm going to cry again. damnit why does everyone make my life so miserable?!?! |
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